hello wordpress

all my blog readers out there. i made the switch to wordpress. so read my blogs at

carlynn.wordpress.com

:)

disconnected sickness

I have been in this weird state lately. A state of constant sickness is a good way to put it. I can not WAIT for this semester to end. I like school, but my schedule not so much. I feel so burned out all of the time. And I feel like I don't have time for anything that I want to do. And then when I do, I get sick. Like right now, I have a gnarly sinus or something infection. Or it is just allergies. During my spring break, I had wicked food poisoning. I also miss my social life. I think it is missing, and I have let it go. I need to reconnect. I feel like between school, my awesome boyfriend and other stuff, I have not been connecting with those I love and need. I need to get back into the swing of things. And I need these allergies to chill out. Good gracious.

Time to get it back.

gnight moon

enlightenment

I love being enlightened.  It is a great feeling.  Like when you are walking in a building in worn out flip flops after walking through the rain, and the lack of grip causes you to slip and flail your arms about in lots of circles so you can somehow keep your balance, when you probably would have been better off just taking the fall.  Afterwards, you are enlightened... "maybe I should not have worn flip flops in a monsoon".  I feel like that a lot.  Like I am walking around flailing my arms about trying to keep my balance.  Maybe because my feet aren't planted in the right shoes.  I am reading a very convicting chapter in a book called "No Other Gods".  I really like this book for numerous reasons.  The major one, I CAN RELATE.  

We are all so unaware of the idols we possess in our lives.  Without planting our focus in the center of everything, which is God, all of these goals and plans and dreams are, well, meaningless.  I am not going to get through this computer science degree without, 1. dedicating my life to the library, and 2. trusting in God.  My mom told me that in God, I can have supernatural abilities to do and comprehend things I would have never thought possible.  Therefore, I am hoping He will supernaturally work through my brain on my wednesday night assembly language test.  Ha, but seriously, I believe that.  If you put Christ in the center, and revolve the rest around it, things just work.  Things fall in place.  Relationally, scholastically, physically, etc.  

I have not posted a blog in awhile,  so I wanted to open up with what my spiritual walk has been dealing with lately.  And it seems to deal with that a lot.  FOCUS.  I'll get it right eventually.

It has been a fun few weeks filled with school, friends and family.  My grandma has moved in to a nursing home.  This is kind of a big deal to me.  My grandparents have been married for 70 years.  That is a long time.  And now, my 96 year old grandma is feeling the effects of age.  Her mind is not quite right these days and it is becoming harder for her to accomplish basic everyday tasks, making it difficult for my half blind and deaf grandpa to care for her, and my working dad to be there during times he is needed.  So she is in a nursing home.  It has been quite stressful on my grandpa, not being able to stay with her, but he understands.  She is trying to comprehend it all as well.  They need prayer, so does my family.

On another hand, I had a great get away weekend for valentines day with Hunter and his best friend Danny and girlfriend Brandy.  We stayed at a huge 4 bedroom beach house and literally relaxed for 3 days.  Hunter's parents came down on sunday for dinner and we spent some time with them searching for sea shells and enjoying the break.  For valentines day, we endeavored a 5 course meal at a nice country club called the Plantation Grille Dining Room.  It was amazing.

That is all for now.  gnight moon.

small world...no joke

I was debating on writing a blog about this occurrence because I didn't want this blog thing to become a personal releasing space, but I can't resist.

I don't know how many people know or what, but I had a sister.  She passed away before I was born from a terminal case of cancer at the age of 12.  My mom was pregnant with me at the time.  I didn't know her, but I feel like I do from stories from my parents or pictures from her times.  When she was alive, my family lived here in charleston for some of the time in Goose Creek before moving overseas for my dad's job.  

Yesterday, I was getting into my car to head to leadership, and my neighbor, whom I have never really carried on a conversation with, asked if I was Carlynn.  I said yes kind of reluctantly because I wondered what bad thing I had done to the HOA in Oak Bluff now, that had all of the neighbors on the hunt for no other than me.  She told me her name and that I didn't know her but she knew my sister, very well.  Her daughter was best friends with my sister.  That is weird. I don't know if anyone really can understand how weird that is, but my next door neighbors knew my sister.  She would spend the night with them, always be at their house, and now here I am living DIRECTLY next door to them.  That is just plain weird.  But cool I guess.

I didn't really know what to say to her, I just kind of smiled a lot and said wow, that is really neat, and really weird.

The other plus too is that now I know that I have awesome neighbors.  Who will look out for my house, because I am really paranoid.  Don't ever try to sneak attack me, it won't end well for you.

But anyways, after all of these stories and hearing all about my awesome sister Laura, I really truly honestly have two things keeping me going towards the finish line, God and the hope and excitement of eventually meeting her.

gnight moon.

Mac-n-Cheese...and WHAT!?

I have a lot of free time now-a-days so I have no reason not to update this thing.  This semester has started out crazy but good.  My schedule is pretty stinky, but I have lots of free time in the afternoons to get things done and just be able to hang out with friends.  Even though I miss working all the time.  Maybe a part time job at apple?  Hm, something to consider...

Yesterday, I met Melissa and Eryc at our school cafeteria to eat food and watch the inauguration on one of the many tv's scattered around.  It was crowded.  I started eating what I picked out and Eryc asked me if I read the sign about the food being Obama's favorite dish?  Well come to find out, the theme was "The Obama Family's favorite foods".  I kind of wanted to puke in a strange way.  I mean I never got to experience Bush's favorite foods.  They could of had a Texas feast at some point ya know?  And then I watched as people wept and watched the new President take the stage and take his oath of office.  People were chanting his name, crying, and here I was, eating the man's favorite dishes.  I'm not trying to rag on the new President.  I like the man way more than I did at first.  I don't agree with some of his policies, but that is okay.  I think he has a great marriage, which it is good for people to have an example of that.  He will be a good leader, and at least people are finding hope.  Because America is in a bit of a slump.  But that is okay.  Obama may be our new President, but God is mine.  And God has every one of his people in the palm of his hand, watching over them.  And my trust is in Him. But I couldn't help but just get a little nauseated at the "worship" people seemed to be having for this man. 

Anyways, I'm going to tackle some of this spanish, hit up my 5:30 class, and peace out of here.  I have had a pretty productive day.  Class from 10-12, lunch, worked out, now about to grab some coffee.

Peace, love, and macaroni + msg (the Obama girls favorite!)

scatter brained

I wish I were sitting on the beach right now.  Hoodie on, barefeet halfway covered with sand, sitting close to the water hugging my knees.  It is so peaceful there.  And in times like these, that is what I need, peace.  I can forget the world for a few minutes when I am sitting there. Because all I can see for miles is ocean, and all I can hear is the waves, crashing on shore, then slowly fading back out, only to repeat the endless cycle.  I find God there.  Don't get me wrong, I find God everywhere, even in the busiest of places, but I really find God at the beach.  How can you deny a God who told the oceans where to stop so that a strip of sand could form.  And beyond the shore, crowded streets and crowded minds exist.  And those like me, forget to remember God in the midst of their busy world.  I need focus.  My focus is gone.  And I can't seem to find it.  The focus I really need is the kind that is on my creator.  Because when focused on Him, life begins to fall into place and meaningless begins to have meaning.  Those without purpose find purpose. The weak find strength.  The lonely find true love.

My mind is wrapped around life.  I am distracted by school, relationships and I'm just too busy all of the time trying to figure things out.  I just wish I could stop having to figure things out.  I wish everything I tried to accomplish wasn't so stressful.  I wish I were sitting on the beach with guitar in hand, pencil and paper, and a sunset.  Beautiful.

And maybe I will stop trying to figure things out by myself, because I am not created to serve a life devoted to my desires, but to my fathers desires, to fulfill my purpose that I have been called to fulfill for Him. 

goodnight moon.