in my own little corner...

I can not agree with Melissa's last blog more.  Spending time with people you care about, and talking about substantial things or just being able to break away from the chaos is definitely a good feeling.  I was thinking about that after my last blog.  In regards to my negative stressful ranting, I did terrible on my computer science test that I studied hours and hours for.  But as much as I wanted to cry today when I got my grade, I felt sort of peaceful about it, and I am not really sure why.  I felt like it was all going to be okay.  I know I sound like a dork, but it is hard for me usually to just get over bad grades, especially when I work really hard and still manage to plummet the test.  

But I have been in a constant state of being God minded this past week and it has really affected me.  My attitude has done a 180, and I am just more peaceful about things.  I can't really explain it in any way that it would make sense, but peaceful is a good word.  And I feel like I am a much more pleasant person to be around, and I am sure a few close people would agree with me. haha.

I am finally back on a somewhat schedule which makes me excited.  

And now I will end this blog.  I really wanted to update but I wasn't really sure what to write.  So now I have to end abruptly.  Sorry.

driving blind

I don't recommend trying the title of my blog.  It is a bad idea.

I have been in a tornado of emotions these past few days and I haven't been myself.  I have been frustrating everyone around me, I am sorry.  I have been super stressed out lately with my lack of motivation with everything that was once very important to me.  It's like I hit a big speed bump and I can't quite get the back tires over the big yellow obnoxious line in the road.  School as been kicking me in the rear end.  My classes are hard.  And I feel like I can't keep up or understand fully what I am learning.  Like my computer programming class.  The concepts aren't hard at all, but actually applying the concepts STINKS!  I sit at home for hours staring at a screen throwing a bunch of nonsensical code into a box, hoping it produces something that is remotely close to what the assignment is asking for.  And it isn't like I can just get help from the book or something.  It just becomes impossible.  And I have to score a 70 on my assignment score in order to not have to retake the class.  Dear Lord please help me make it through this.  This class reminds me that I don't like programming.  I am intrigued with the hardware and problem solving of a computer.  Not developing long amounts of gibberish.  Then my calculus teacher is the smartest man in the world, but I have decided he is just too smart to teach.  I have no clue what the man is saying.  And math is something I enjoy and can usually figure out pretty easily. 

Then, all of this stress crosses over into my spiritual life and my relational life.  I start becoming slack on the one thing that matters to me the most, my relationship with God.  I start making excuses for quiet time.  And I start replacing school work with my time set aside for God and worship.  And when you do that, life just plain, excuse my french, sucks.  

So I am needless to say learning.  I am learning time management and how to better prioritize. I am learning that it is so much easier to involve God than to try to do things on my own.

On another note, I watched the debate tonight, and I am convinced on John McCain.  And yes, John McCain has a bracelet, BUT SO DOES OBAMA!  hahahaha. 

I am delirious, goodnight.

purpose...?

I remember when I was little.  Face pressed up against the glass, making a face at my dad while he was pumping gas.  Or when it was time for school, my dad was my alarm clock and my mom was the good morning committee in the kitchen.  We'd pray, and off to school and work everyone would go.  I remember endless amounts of sports practices, and watching my parents sitting in the stands, being supportive no matter what I was doing or how good or bad I was.  I remember being little, no responsibilities except to keep my room clean, which I wasn't very good at, and to help around the house.  Now, I am my own alarm clock.  I am responsible for my actions every day, and I am responsible for getting things done.  Paying my bills, buying my groceries, and applying myself to do well in college. I am responsible for myself.

It is a weird thought thinking about getting old.  You only gain years, you never go back.  And it is funny to think back to life when I was young and how I thought these times were so far away and I would never reach them.  Now look at me.

I was thinking about this yesterday when Hunter was on the phone talking to someone about similar types of things with a friend.  At our age, without Christ instilled in our hearts, and without following his direction and listening intently to His voice and where He is leading us, we are nothing.  We amount to nothing without Him, and everything we accomplish here on earth without God, it means nothing.  What purpose do we have without God.  We have none.   He is our purpose.  He should be our purpose for everything we do.  If not, who are we doing it for, ourselves?  

It breaks my heart to hear people who are in there prime years 0f 20-27, just plain lost, in relationships, in job decisions, in life, and they can't understand what is missing.  But what is missing is the most important thing.  God.  With our focus completely on God, we notice that everything else seems to fall in place. 

I feel like I'm rambling, but thats the purpose of blogging right?

goodnight.

You're Beautiful

I have found that I can't stop myself from listening to Phil Wickham's CD Cannons.  It is an amazing album.  And I spend a lot of time in the car.  More than most people, driving back and forth downtown everyday, and everywhere else I find myself venturing off to.  

Today, I kept pressing the back button on the song "You're Beautiful".  All that it makes you do is focus on who Christ is, not how this world seems so off at times.  It just reminds you of the pure and holy power of our Jesus Christ and the beauty of life, and the things he created for us to enjoy.  He is powerful.

I see your face in every sunrise

The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes

The world awakens in the light of the day

I look up to the sky and say

You're beautiful

I see your power in the moonlit night

Where the planets are in motion and the galaxies are bright

We are amazed in the light of the stars

It's all proclaiming who You are

You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree

You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me

Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne

Soon we will be coming home

You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore

Where death is just a memory and tears are no more

We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring

Your bride will come together and we'll sing

You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful

I see your face in every sunrise

The world awakens in the light of the day

I look up to the sky and say

You're beautiful

----PW "You're Beautiful"

birthday bash

So an update to the blog.

Today was a very fun and peaceful day, and I have needed that so badly.  Lately I have been so busy and have had so much go wrong, that I have almost been depressed.  But I am much better now.  It seems like everything always goes wrong at once.  And it is always small little things, but they make a giant big thing.  For instance, yesterday and school, I found out the math homework that took me 3 days to do and a 2 hour trip to the math lab on my day off, was never "submitted" on the online assignment page.  I confronted the teacher about it and he looked at me like I was trying to pull a fast one on him.  But truth is, I worked my rear end off on that stupid thing, and it isn't my fault that technology was being ridiculous on Friday.  You would think since I was majoring in it, it would be a little more friendly to me.  But then, I found out my computer assignment never submitted, because my online WebCT was broken, but only on my page, no one else.  So once again, I had to confront a teacher and show her I really was having a problem.  I hate when teachers think you just don't do work.

Anyways, today was a MUCH better day.  I was kind of bummed out because my fellow leaders on the leadership team went to the ropes course today, one of my favorite things to do ever in life, but I had other obligations.  And it turned out being fun and much needed.  It was Hunters moms birthday today and Hunter worked super hard on throwing her a surprise party.  His sister and her two kids came down, her best friends family, and Danny and Brandy.  She was completely surprised to see her grandkids her and super excited.  It was so much fun.  And we ate wings, played frisbee, played the Wii, and just hung out and talked.  It was also cool because Hunter has been working on fixing up his house, more like totally making over his house, and he finally got to show it off today, and it is finally DONE.  Which makes me happy.

I hope the ropes course was fun.  I definitely missed it. 

Goodnight :)

Hanna Banana

It has been a long time since I have updated my blog.  So I figured while I'm sitting here listening to Tropical Storm Hanna outside, and watching some TLC show, I would update.  It has been a crazy few weeks.  School kicked back in a full speed and I am excited to see what this semester is going to hold.  I am taking an advanced swimming class which is fun, but I find myself running to my next class, which is like .5 miles away, smelling like chlorine and dripping wet.  But I can't complain too much, it is a good workout.

On Sunday, Hunter and I went to 

Walterboro to hang out with his family a

nd eat some good food. Thats was a fun day.  I like escaping to some peace and quiet once in a while.

Another thing I am tremendously enjoying is having my own room.  My own space to throw clothes everywhere, watch tv until 4AM, talk on the phone whenever I want, get homework done the right way, and many other things.

I am bummed they canceled school today, that makes me pretty much not normal right?  I don't want to have to make up this day.  BUT, after a lot of thinking, I guess I can understand why we didn't have class.  It is hard for me to understand how some rain and some wind potential, which isn't really going to impact us too greatly, and if it does, not until late tonight, would cause a day full of classes to be canceled.  I know it floods downtown, but common.  Anyways, back to me being understanding, this storm had a lot of unanswered questions lingering around it and nobody really knew the strength it would gain, or where it was going to hit.  It is good that our country has government in place that cares and concerns about the well being of the citizens, even when what seems to us as minor storms threaten our day-to-day plans.  I just have to be glad that I got to literally stay in my bed for the majority of the day and get some homework done.  

Now I am off to hang out with the boy friend and listen to the rain :).